Milestones

Zachary is upstairs at his computer, no doubt playing WOW.

I can't help but work the countdown in my mind. Only two more evenings after this and he'll be gone.

He's going to Iowa State, which is a mere 45 minutes from home, but damn, I'm going to miss him.

The past week has been busy with shopping trips and list-making, doctor's appointments and planning. He spent the summer working full-time, often more, so we've already had a transition, of sorts, to his being gone.

But on Tuesday, we'll load up his stuff and help him move into the dorm. Then we'll say goodbye.

I can't help but remember Stephen's first day of first grade. He had just gotten on the bus and I had taken Zach and Sarah around to play in the backyard. I started to cry and Zachary came over to me, all of 4 years old, and said, "Don't worry, Mommy, I'll take care of you."

I've always tended to think of the boys as "the boys," so although Stephen has been in college for two years already, Zachary's leaving marks another milestone in my life.

The boys will be gone now.

As a mother, this is a success story. My two oldest children are embarking on their life journeys as adults. I am so proud of their successes and the people they have become. I know we will stay close, even as our physical distance apart increases.

But, oh, how I will miss them. An entire era of my life is now over.

And I wouldn't change a minute of it.

As time passes, ever more quickly it seems, and the leave-taking of all my children grows nearer, I will continue to treasure them and our relationships.

But along with the excitement and pride I feel for Zachary, I will miss him so much.

Change is never easy, it seems.

I will hold my memories close and embrace the new ones yet to form.

But tonight, I will gather the memories around me and cry.

Just a little bit.