Resistance is futile...

Earlier this week Zachary began experiencing symptoms of c. difficile infection.

After a blood test and stool samples, the doctor could prescribe an antibiotic, so we caught the infection at the start this time.

Thank goodness.

Zach has been on anitbiotics now since Tuesday and he's beginning to feel a little better and is now able to eat a bit. He's still exhausted, but hopes to go to work a half day on Monday.

I can't explain the level of dread he and I both experienced on Tuesday, heading back to the hospital for tests while he felt more and more ill.

It took perseverance on our part, though, to get the antibiotics as soon as we did. I had requested that his doctor, who was doing a hospital rotation that day, call us in the evening. The receptionist assured me he would. Well, along about 9:30, I began to suspect that he never got the message. When Michael got back in town at 10 p.m., he agreed we should call the answering service.

We were just so afraid of waiting and having the infection progress without treatment.

Within 5 minutes of leaving the message with his service, the doctor called us, talked with Zach, and called in a prescription to a 24-hour pharmacy nearby.

Zachary seems to be on the mend, but I know we're all worried about yet another re-infection, especially since goes back to college on Thursday and classes start Monday. Fortunately, he attends university just 40 minutes away.

I'm concerned about his stamina, about susceptibility to other illnesses since he's been so weakened by this illness. He had regular check-up on Monday, before he knew he was getting sick again, and discovered that he had lost more than 20 pounds during his illness in July.

There's a lot to be thankful for - our medical insurance, access to quality medical care, that this reinfection seems to be clearing up...

But it's hard not to worry about him.

And it's scary to realize how such serious illnesses can seemingly come out of nowhere and wreak such havoc on a young man's life.

Temptation

I aint got no "stick-to-it-iveness.
In other words, I have difficulty with long-term planning.
When I decide to make a change, whether it be rearranging the furniture, landscaping the yard, or getting rid of our debt, I want it to happen now.
Or preferably 5 minutes ago.
We've been working hard on our consumer debt, having paid off $21,000 since January. I've had a few splurges here and there, so we're actually about $1,000 behind where I wanted to be, but the goal of being out of consumer debt in two years is still within reach.
I've been driving myself crazy for the last 6 months cruising money and debt blogs, couponing, and plugging our numbers into debt calculators.
Over and over and over again.
Repeatedly.
Our success so far is really quite remarkable, but it's that remaining balance that nags at me. Last week I decided to start accumulating all the "found" money - insurance reimbursements, rebates, etc., and put them toward our debt. We had two reimbursements and a store return that equaled $176. I immediately applied them to our largest debt, which is our primary focus.
Ah, but temptation never fails to rear its ugly head. Also last week, the pressure canner I've been eyeing since last season went on sale - 40% off - at Amazon. At $179 it still wasn't cheap, but it's the top of the line and I've been dying to can my own beans.
I know.
I have issues.
Anyway, I ordered the canner, plus a couple new books about canning. This was all made easier by my new Amazon charge card, which Zach and I used to purchase his fall textbooks, saving him boucoup bucks, plus an additional $30 off the first purchase.
But you see, having that Amazon credit card provided me with the means to buy what I hadn't budgeted for this month and put the bill off until next month.
Now, in the past, I wouldn't have planned to pay it off right away the next month; instead the debt would have continued to grow. So at least I'm getting better about my splurges in that regard.
The canner arrived and I was giddy with excitement.
For about 15 minutes.
Then I looked at next month's budget which includes new shoes for the girls, tuition payments, home repairs, car repair.
Gulp.
Suddenly, that canner no longer made me happy.
Instead, it was a symbol of my lack of self-restraint. The canner isn't a necessity, but a luxury, that right now I can't afford.
A quick trip to the computer and I printed off the return tags for the canner and books and asked Michael to please, quickly, whisk them out of my sight before I changed my mind.
And you know what? I still feel a little sad about not being able to can my own beans, but that is far outweighed by the fact that I made a sound financial decision.
We will be out of debt in two years.
I just have to stay strong and think of how good it will feel to buy that pressure canner with actual cash on hand.

Shell-shocked

Whew.
I think I'm still recovering from the emotional stresses this summer has bestowed on me.
First, there are Sarah's headaches, now diagnosed officially as migraines. I should probably say "headache," as she hasn't been completely without it since mid-May. Fortunately, the preventive medicine she's taking has helped, and hopefully will continue to do so, as it builds up to its full strength over the next couple of weeks.
She's trying a new medicine to deal with the lingering pain - a "rescue" med rather than preventive. So far it, too, has helped, but nothing seems to zap the headache for good.
Not yet anyway.
Multiple trips to the doctor, the pharmacy, the hospital for EKG and MRI, neurologist appointment, and frustration with our insurance company, calls to the neurologist, but worst of all, Sarah suffering with horrible pain.
All summer long.
On a side note, as I explained to the neurologist our family history, I included the headaches I've have had periodically for the last 20 years. Throbbing, sometimes lasting days, sleeping helps, always on one side of my head, can usually feel the headache coming on ... he diagnosed me on the spot with migraines of my very own.
Awe, and to think I only gave myself credit for tension headaches.
Of course, I can't use his diagnosis, as he's a pediatric neurologist. I'm not yet ready to pursue an official diagnosis for myself, though, as I can usually blast the headaches away within a day with my over-the-counter arsenal of Ibuprofen, Excedrin and naproxen sodium.
Fortunately he didn't laugh as I described my non-prescription pharmacological battle plan - first I take 2 naproxen sodium, then if the headache isn't better in about an hour, I take two Ibuprofen, and try to sleep. If I still have the headache when I get up, I take Excedrin and pray to the great Pain-Reliever in the Sky (Analgesia?) to spare me.
Anyway, I've seen enough doctors this summer without seeking more for myself.

And then there was Zachary, felled by not one, but two potentially deadly intestinal infections, toxic E.coli. and C. Diff. He spent 10 days in the hospital, pumped full of antibiotics and fluids, and is still recovering now weeks later.
I can't believe the suffering he endured.
He escaped major complications, and we're hopeful he won't have a recurrence of the C.Diff., something that happens in about 20% of infections. Don't quote me on that... I'm too tired right now to look up the exact number.
We still don't know how he became infected. My conversation with the Polk County Health Department lasted nearly 30 minutes. The nurse was shocked by how sick my son had been.
One of his gastroenterologists told us that C. Diff. used to only be found among immune-compromised patients, patients already in health care settings, children in daycare, and people who had used certain antibiotics within a few months of the infection. Now, however, there is an epidemic of community-acquired (as in general community) C. Diff. infections, she said.
Another reason for rampant over-use of antibiotics to stop, including in the livestock industry. Yet another reason that I refuse to buy meat from industrialized agriculture, though I do occasionally indulge in a fast food hamburger or pizza with meat toppings.
Of course, my son got the infection anyway.
It's amazing how long it's taking him to come back to full-strength. I can see how this disease, even without major complications, could be deadly to those already weakened by other diseases.
I've learned that I'm great in a crisis, able to hold myself together for the sake of others (and myself, I suppose). The girls were a mess of worry over Zach's illness, and fortunately I was able to help them through their anxieties. I was upbeat for Zachary, polite and knowledgeable with the doctors, ready to advocate and be strong when necessary.
But when it was all over I felt as if I had been run over by a truck and had half my blood drained.
The exhaustion was nearly overwhelming and I found my emotions all over the map. I wanted nothing more than for someone to come take care of me and take over my responsibilities so I could huddle in bed and recuperate.
But we all know that mothers always have to recover on the run, so to speak.
And I have, mostly. Though I still have days when I find myself suddenly on the verge of tears, for no discernible reason. I know my stress level has not yet come back down all the way to Earth. I'm trying to be kind to myself while still being productive.
While I've been able to process a bunch of tomato sauces, make some jam, and cook all our meals from scratch (I'm definitely extra leery of fast food and am trying to build Zachary up again), there are ridiculous projects I don't seem able to take on.
Thank goodness Michael took over freezing all the green beans. He's also been doing the laundry.
And corn.
Good lord, the corn.
Michael's been prepared to pick up a free bushel of corn for us the past two weeks.
Yep, I said "free."
And yet, for some strange reason, I cannot face the corn.
I keep postponing its arrival, hoping it will still be there next week.
Or maybe the next week.
I know it sounds silly, but I think that bushel of corn symbolizes the emotional healing I still need to do.
When I can face the corn, I'll know I'm better.
Maybe next week.

Still Here... Sort of

I'm still here, my son is recuperating, my daughter's headaches are slowly improving, the dog is still crazy, the house is still furry, the garden is going like gangbusters, and summer weather has finally found us.
I hope to start posting regularly again... soon.