A Brighter Outlook

Wow.

What a difference a little perspective makes.

We haven't been on "Spring break" this whole time, only the first week.

We had a great little vacation in Arkansas, visiting my mom and Hot Springs.

While away, I realized that I had, again, sunk into a depressive funk.

Not a bad one, mind you.

But I was definitely taking a cloudy outlook on life.

I started on antidepressants (SSRIs were my salvation) and completed a solid round of therapy about 10 years ago. One of the most difficult aspects of treatment to accept was that I was not "cured" but "in treatment." Depression is no longer my constant companion, but instead is more of a guerrilla, ever ready to launch a sneak attack.

When this happens, I go into a slow, but steady, decline. I find myself with less energy, sleeping more, doing less around the house, feeling down, down, down. But it always takes a few months to recognize this downhill slide.

Our getaway provided me with the perspective to shut the door on my depression yet again. Life is what I make of it. It isn't always easy to shed the gloom and doom and recognize all that I have in my life that is good.

But I'll never stop trying.

And maybe, someday, I'll not only close that door, but be able to lock it.

And throw away the key.

SPRING BREAK!!!

Difficult Decisions

As Michael and I have been putting our financial house in order, we've had to make some tough decisions.
Our van died late last fall, leaving us with two small cars, one of which is our son's. Most of the time, with the boys away at college, our small cars work just fine. But when we all, or even 5 of the 6 of us, want to go somewhere together, we run into problems.
We're planning a trip to Arkansas for spring break to visit my mom and to spend a couple of days in Hot Springs. We set aside money for the trip, knowing we'd have to rent a van. Our big mistake was not checking van rental prices earlier. The best deal we could get, from Hotwire.com, was for an SUV at a whopping $500 for the 9 days. Yikes! We anticipated spending more like $300, so it was a bit of shock.
Fortunately, we resisted the temptation to buy a van, though it was great. We don't want to take on any new debt until all our credit card debt is gone. We'll be sure to do more thorough research before our next trip.
Another painful decision was to eliminate our participation in all three of the CSAs we were to join. It is so important to me to support small, local farmers, but with both dogs needing surgery this spring ($1300) and fencing and roof repairs that can't be put off, we found ourselves too strapped for comfort.
Living within our means is certainly a lesson in choices; not all of them easy or fun.
A dear friend has offered a garden-sharing arrangement for the season. She'll provide the land, we'll provide half the labor and seed/plant costs, and we'll share the produce. A great arrangement for both of us, though I'm still sad about the CSAs.
I know I'll be able to find the produce I need from local farmer's market vendors.
It's the right decision for us financially, but certainly a loss with regards to community-building.

Dark Days Eat Local - Week 15

I seem to have rediscovered the joy of scones this winter. I had forgotten how quick and easy they are to make, and how deliciously tender is a scone straight from the oven. Cheese scones were the perfect accompaniment to this week's local meal.

I started out planning to make potato soup. But as I added ingredients to the crock pot, a little sliced ham, carrots and onions, the soup evolved into something more like potage, otherwise known as a thick stew.

Everything in the potage was local, either from CSA delivery or the farmer's market, and stored in my freezer. A little salt and a dash or two of pepper and we had an incredibly tasty, completely local main course.

Not pictured are the two pies we had for dessert, apple and southern chess, favorite kind of pecan pie. The apples were gleaned from a nearby tree last fall and the pecans were purchased on a trip through Missouri. Butter and eggs, milk and flour, all were from local sources.

Fool

A funny thing happened on the way to the kitchen.

It was one of those light bulb over the head moments.

A full 150 watt incandescent-bulb type of realizations hit me.

My dog is smarter than I am.

You see, for the past month or so, when Ivy's been out-of-control-naughty, which is pretty much whenever Michael isn't home and she isn't asleep, I've gone to the kitchen to get a bone or a treat to distract her. Last week I noticed that every time I stood up to correct her behavior (ever tried wrestling a St. Bernard off the couch?), she high-tailed it to the kitchen.

Do you seeing where I'm going with this?

Yup.

That's right.

My dog had me trained to reward her with a treat every time she was crazy naughty.

Sigh.

Now it's Monday morning and I've been interrupted half a dozen times while trying to write this post as Ivy rampages through the house.

Michael is at work, Sarah is at school, Melissa and Wally are dozing peacefully, the cats are hiding out upstairs, and Ivy is wreaking havoc.

At least I've learned my lesson.

I'm no longer rewarding naughtiness and Ivy is now sleeping in her kennel.

Hey, I'm nobody's fool...

Smooth Moves

About a year ago, Melissa was sick with a mysterious virus. Her white blood cell count was high and her cbc results were wacky. She couldn't eat, had no energy, and spent her days lying on the couch. Not at all typical Melissa.

Needless to say, we were quite worried, imagining all the terrible illnesses she might have. Dehydration was a real worry, and I knew I had to think of something to keep her out of the hospital.

That's when I discovered the amazing power of smoothies.

Finally, she could eat something with a little substance to it, and after nearly a month of being quite ill, she began to regain her strength.

Since then, fruit smoothies have become something of a family favorite, seeing my second son through his wisdom tooth extraction and mono, soothing sore throats, and simply tasting great!
Melissa had a hankering for some smoothie

goodness the other day and I wrote down a recipe so Michael could make one for her. (I was resting my
broken foot)

This makes enough for two large servings.

2 cups plain yogurt (preferably homemade)
1 cup frozen strawberries

1 cup frozen blueberries
1 ripe banana

2 T wheat germ

Add honey to taste

Blend to desired consistency and enjoy!

Five Alive

Found this on Mama P's blog and thought it sounded like fun!

The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me (!)
The restrictions and limitations:

*I will make no guarantees that you will like what I make.
*What I create will be just for you.
*You will have no clue what it will be
*The catch is that you have to post this as well, if you expect me to do something for you.
*I have to be able to afford the postage, if you live out of country. :)

Please link to your blog, if I don't know you, in case we are new friends.

Austerity

I first learned the meaning of the word "austerity" when I was in 7th grade. My school district on Long Island in New York was operating under an "austerity budget."

What did that mean, exactly?

Well, I remember we were asked to bring in paper, chalk, and other basics to our classrooms. I also think there was a cap placed on the number dittos each teacher could make.

Wow, who out there remembers dittos?

Anyway, my introduction to the meaning of austerity was laden with a sense of deprivation, scarcity, and frankly, unfairness.

These days, however, I'm seeing austerity in a whole new light. I'm choosing to see such strict economy as a gift, of sorts.

With the world economy in shambles, loss of more than 100K in our 401K, credit card balances, a car loan, and kids to put through college, our own austerity budget is actually giving me a sense of control.

Control over our money, yes, but mostly control and discipline over myself.

So far, since January, we've paid off one credit card, stopped using credit altogether, cut way back on our driving, and reduced all our discretionary expenditures to the bare minimum.

But you know what? I don't feel deprived. Neither does my husband, nor do my children. I think that speaks volumes of not only our former lifestyle, which believe me, was never crazy excessive, and that of most Americans.

I'm getting excited watching the remaining credit card balances fall. This may be the first year in at least 15 that I actually budgeted for my kids' birthday presents and put aside the cash to pay for them.

My daughter will still take an art class this summer; the other will go to drama camp. All will be paid for with cash.

I can't get over what a liberating feeling it is!

We still have a long haul in front of us, but our goal of being debt free in 2 years now looks, if not easy, at least attainable.

To this end, we're taking a little vacation this month to visit my mom in Arkansas. Because our van died, we'll need to rent a van for the trip, as well as pay for some site-seeing and activities we want to do. In order to do so without charging anything or taking any money out of savings (we have savings now!), we've challenged ourselves to spend only $100 a week this month.

How is this possible?

Easy.

We're shopping from the freezer.

Michael did a complete inventory of our chest freezer, our upright freezer (a donation from my mom), and the freezer compartments of our two refrigerators, and I have enough food in the house to feed us quite well for more than a month.

We already spent $50 on the drama camp registration fee this week, the rest on gas and a few perishables. Next week's $100 will likely go mostly toward pet food and supplies. We'll run out of milk the day after tomorrow, but will cash in our cans/bottles to buy a couple gallons to see us through.

Oh, and as for next week?

Melissa still owes me $12!

Freezer Inventory

all meats are local, cheese, ice cream and fruit juices aren't, all grains from Paul's Grains. Most fruit and veggie items are frozen in quart bags.

Chicken broth 5
Turkey broth 4
Cheese, cheddar 8
Cheese, Mozzarella 6
Mozzarella bites 1
Ice Cream 5
apples, sliced 3
applesauce 6
Bananas, frozen 2
Blackberries 6
blackberries, pint 2
Blueberries 17
Cherries 3
Mulberries, large white tub 1
Gooseberries 1
peaches, quarts 7 1/2
Raspberries 2
Rhubarb 5
strawberries 23
Acorn meal 2 cups
Bread - buns 4 packages
Bread - home made 2 loaves
Bread - store bought 7
Brown rice 10 lbs
Corn meal 5 lbs
Crescent roll dough homemade 1
Flour, Whole Wheat 25 lbs
Frozen pizza 1
millet 5 lbs
oat bran 5 lbs
oat meal 3 lbs
Pizza crust, homemade, baked 2
Pizza dough, homemade 7
popcorn 4 lbs
wheat berries 5 lbs
wheat bran 5 lbs
jams, 1/2 pints 27
Apple Raspberry juice 2
Orange juice 2

Beef, Round steak, small 1

Beef for stir fry 2
Beef, hamburger 6 lbs.
Beef, Liver 2
Beef, New York steak, small 2
Beef, rib eye steak, small 1

Beef, roast 2
Beef, sliced, roast 8
Beef, stew meat 1
Bison dogs, 1 pack
Chicken, cut up, cooked 1
Chicken, cut up, raw 1
Chicken, Whole, raw 2
pork, Partial Ham 2
Pork, ribs 2
Pork, roast 1
Pork, Sausage 1
Pork, shank 1
Turkey, sliced 1
Turkey - cut up 4
ratatouille, large 1
ratatouille, small 1
salsa 2 1/2
Eggplant Pasta Sauce 1
Oven Candied tomatoes 1
Pesto 5
Sauce rosemary 5
Sauce, Basil 5
Sauce, capicola 1
Sauce, oven roasted 5
Sauce, red 3
Sauce, sausage 3
Chicken soup 1
Roasted Squash soup 1
Broccoli 1
Cauliflower 2
Corn, frozen 29 quarts
Green Beans 17
Onions, diced 10
Peas (from store) 1
pickles, quarts 16
Pureed Squash 16
Red pepper slices 3
Sliced Carrots 9
tomatoes, canned, quarts 15 1/2
Zucchini, shredded 3

Dark Days Eat Local - Week 15

This week's meal was inspired by a trip to our freezer. Michael has been taking care of me since he got home from Chile on Friday. My broken foot got some much needed rest, the dogs got exercise, and the girls and I are enjoying home-cooked meals again!

Michael inventoried our freezer and discovered we easily have a couple month's worth of food still in storage. Our plan is to shop and eat from our freezer the entire month of March, buying only perishables, such as milk, cheese, and maybe, fresh fruit.

We have quarts and quarts of various types of homemade pasta sauces just waiting to be thawed. Above is the mysteriously named "Basil Sauce," dh pulled out of the chest freezer. It may be from a cookbook or it may be an original, but one thing is certain: the ingredients are all from our garden and CSA last year.

The sauce was served over soft polenta. I love the creaminess of soft polenta. When paired with the sauce, polenta is a nourishing, inexpensive, comfort-food type of meal. The cornmeal is from Paul's Grains, a source for organic flours and grains here in Iowa. (Though I don't think they grow everything they sell themselves.)

I am so thankful to have an abundance of good food and loved ones to share it with.