A Brighter Outlook

Wow.

What a difference a little perspective makes.

We haven't been on "Spring break" this whole time, only the first week.

We had a great little vacation in Arkansas, visiting my mom and Hot Springs.

While away, I realized that I had, again, sunk into a depressive funk.

Not a bad one, mind you.

But I was definitely taking a cloudy outlook on life.

I started on antidepressants (SSRIs were my salvation) and completed a solid round of therapy about 10 years ago. One of the most difficult aspects of treatment to accept was that I was not "cured" but "in treatment." Depression is no longer my constant companion, but instead is more of a guerrilla, ever ready to launch a sneak attack.

When this happens, I go into a slow, but steady, decline. I find myself with less energy, sleeping more, doing less around the house, feeling down, down, down. But it always takes a few months to recognize this downhill slide.

Our getaway provided me with the perspective to shut the door on my depression yet again. Life is what I make of it. It isn't always easy to shed the gloom and doom and recognize all that I have in my life that is good.

But I'll never stop trying.

And maybe, someday, I'll not only close that door, but be able to lock it.

And throw away the key.