Torment

So, I was doing pretty well "embracing" my life and circumstances this week.
Until yesterday.
I could feel the tendrils of pain slowly forming from below my right shoulder blade, up through my shoulder, encircling my neck and relentlessly making for my head as early as Tuesday morning. I stayed positive, though, working to maintain a cheerful demeanor.
But when I woke up yesterday I was in the clutches of one of the worst migraines I've ever had. Somehow I managed to get all the dogs up and out, fed, and the two youngest to daycare. I picked my daughter up from campus on the way home. She has lots of doctor's appointments and doesn't have her own car.
By the time I got back home I knew I couldn't drive again.
No way, no how.
So I stumbled back to bed, popping some NSAIDs on the way.
And it was a crash of epic proportions.
Somehow I swam my way through the pain back to consciousness to take her back to campus.
Back at home, I forged through the torment long enough to bake batch of pumpkin bread and place a double batch of cookie dough in the fridge.
Then back to bed I went.
All life in the house proceeded without me.
I retrieved the dogs at the end of the day and my darling daughter kept them with her for the evening as I retreated to my darkened room.
Despite knowing I'd have to get up in the middle of the night with the puppy for sure, I took a muscle relaxant.
Negotiating the stairs in the middle of the night while carrying a 20 pound wiggling fur ball is a delicate process for me on the best of nights. I figured my best bet was to go as slowly as possible down the stairs. We made it, she and I, and thanks to the magic of Flexeril I fell back to sleep right away.
This morning the throbbing had receded, thank goodness, though I can still feel its tracks, an echo of the pain that was. It no longer hurts to move my eyes, so I was able to read the paper. I kept the dogs up and outside for only two hours, then put them all in their kennels so I could nap yet again.
I slept for 3 hours solid.
We're sitting outside right now, the first of the fall leaves gently cascading around me. The dogs happily snooze in the sunshine while I continually move my chair deeper into the shade.
There is much that needs doing right now, but it will just have to wait.
My son will be here in a couple of hours to play with the dogs, I'll pick up my younger daughter from school, then I plan to rack out yet again. Another couple of hours and I might have this thing completely beaten.
This time.
The great thing, though, about this whole awful experience is that I'm not beating myself up over it. It's hard for me to feel as if I've wasted so much time, but this time I gave in, as much as I could.
I plan to give in again this afternoon.
And tonight, we're ordering pizza.