Lots has been happening in my life here, but Saturday I got a call that overshadowed it all and halted me in my tracks.
My mom has had a severe and sudden attack of diverticulitis. Friday she was fine, Saturday she was in the hospital with IV antibiotics, morphine, a gastric tube, catheter and facing surgery.
We are in a wait-and-see situation, the infected area of her colon is more inflamed, but the infection hasn't perforated the colon. Doctors don't want to do surgery - unless they have to - until the infection is cleared up.
So we wait another 24 hours.
So we wait another 24 hours.
One of my sisters flew down to Arkansas from New York for this week, another sister will fly in from Pittsburgh the following week and the third week will be my turn. It is hard to be so far away, not to be right there, not to be holding her hand (thought that would probably drive her crazy!)
She will require surgery no matter what, it's just a matter of when. She will need a bowel resection; basically, they cut apart the colon, remove the infected tissue, then create a temporary colostomy while the area heals. Once healed, a second surgery will reconnect the bowel and restore normal functioning.
My mom is facing at least 10 days in the hospital now, to be followed by another stay for the first surgery, and a third for a final surgery. This will amount to weeks and weeks of recuperation time. My mom is 79 and in otherwise excellent health, so all should be well.
But the stress and worry I'm experiencing sends me back 4 years ago to my dad's illness and the surgery and hospitalization that ultimately ended his life.
I'm in need of a good cry, but too many people live in my house to be able to do so without unnecessarily worrying them. So again, I'm holding it in, that huge lump in my throat, the tension in my neck and back, the frantic, stressful energy that goes nowhere and accomplishes nothing.
I wait and worry.
3 comments:
I know that wait and worry feeling. My grandmother (kind of like my mom) in Texas, who is now 95, has been near death several times in the past few years. I saw her a few times last year thinking I may never see her again. But she always pulls through. It is amazing how some people just seem to live forever. And it is a good thing! Death is a big change for those of us left behind. And the empty spot they leave can be annoying.
I know no matter what happens it will be o.k. But the waiting and wondering is hard.
Here's hugs to you all!! I can come hold your hand. I can come by to give you a hug at 11:00 tomorrow. :) I am coming to DM for something with the kids at noon.
~Heather
Heather, thank you so much!
I know you have lost ones dear to you as well, so you understand what this is like.
Can I take a raincheck on the hug? I have to take Melissa to a doctor's appt. tomorrow (one I had to reschedule after I missed it... oops!)
Right now, no news is good news. I hope to hear from my sister tomorrow late in the morning. Hopefully, the infection will start responding to the antibiotics.
Glad to know the major worring is over on this. It took me a while to get around to reading this part of your blog. Is some ways the illness was a good thing. You've been seeing your Mom more often and it's nice to be able to give back. Glad to know the outcome as I read this.
dileduc
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