Half Empty Nest Syndrome

Hello?
Anyone there?
I've sort of slipped into the abyss of blog block lately, finding myself lacking the oomph to upload (download?) pictures or otherwise put my random thoughts down on screen.
Weird, to think that my grandchildren might not know what "putting pen to paper" means.
Anyhoo, I've been a little angst ridden.
Angst, with me, usually leads to lack of impetous.
An inablility to work up the activation energy to do much of anything.
This, in turn, leads to more angst, creating what I believe to be the original Catch-22.
Welcome to my world.
I've been trying to analyze the source of the angst, as I don't believe it to be connected to the usual boatload of anxiety I usually carry.
And I think I've found the answer.
I'm suffering from half-empty nest syndrome.
Two chicks have flown the coop and I only have two left at home.
And I don't quite know what to do with my time.
Sarah is in school full-time and at 16, her need for my time and attention is decreasing.

While Melissa is semi-unschooled (in that I bought some curriculum that we no longer do, but because we did it sporadically last fall Melissa doesn't consider herself unschooled - please don't tell my mom) most of the time she's busy following her own pursuits.
That leaves me with a lot of time on my hands and no idea of what I want to do when I grow up.
I've tossed around the idea of going back to school, but I don't want to undertake another degree unless I'm sure I'll finish it. Plus, there's a little thing called "insecurity" that plagues my thoughts about such an undertaking.
Volunteering?
I should.
Foster care?
I could never give them back.
Cleaning?
Are you serious?
I mean, I could list a million "things" I could and should do, but I haven't yet hit on a new purpose for my life.
And believe me, it took years for me to recognize that mothering was my purpose in the first place.
So, I'm working on looking on the bright side.
The girls were both at a friends' house last weekend and Michael and I had some much needed, uninterrupted, unhibited us time.
It was grand.
I'm trying to set some goals.
So far this week I've stockpiled dried beans and other essentials for the coming pandemic, read a lot to my daughter, cooked several meals and moved several loads of laundry.
No, I didn't just carry them from upstairs to the basement.
In fact, I didn't carry them at all.
Because of my foot, still healing by the way, I only put the loads into and out of the washer and dryer, then supervised the folding and putting away.
Most of all, I'll need to figure out who I am, where I'm going, and what I want to do with the last third of my life.
I'll always be a mother, but the nature of my mothering duties has and will continue to change. Don't get me wrong, it's a good thing that my kids are going off on their own and becoming independent, contributing members of society.
That's what they're supposed to do.
It's what I'm supposed to do now that they're doing what they're supposed to do that has me stumped.