Leavings

I stood in the open doorway; most of the furniture was already gone. Just a smattering of cat toys and miscellaneous socks littered the floor.

It was just a little more than a year ago that we repainted her room - a surprise for her return from abroad.

Now she’s leaving in a week - first apartment, first professional job, first time that home will have a different meaning for her.

But the room looks so empty.

We have plans for the space - a computer desk for my husband, an out-of-the-way place for the exercise bike.

It will be ours from now on; she’ll only be coming home to visit.

The cats will have to adjust to having just me; only one lap, one person to exclaim over their antics.

My son busily sorts through his papers, packs books and miscellaneous keepsakes to be stored in our basement. He has lived away before, but now he’s leaving for a grad program in a different state.

No more random coffee cups left on end tables, giant shoes cluttering the entryway; one less person coming and going.

I’ll miss the bang of the attic door and his footfalls down the stairs.

It is time for him to leave; maybe past time.

The dogs will miss him terribly. He has slept with them a couple of times this week; soaking in their kisses and adoration while he can.

The youngest will soon head back to college - a second year away. Home will still be here with us for her; a weekend here and there and vacations.

Our younger son paid off his student loans and is looking for an apartment. He, too, has lived away from home for school, but this will be a true leave-taking.

Just last year people often expressed shock to hear that all my adult children still lived at home. Funny how cultural expectations change over time. We were glad to give them this space to save money, pay off loans, and get their lives on track.

I’m excited for uninterrupted time with my husband. It’s been 28 years since we’ve lived without children at home. Admittedly, the past couple of years have felt kind of crowded at times.

Today I am home alone. Soon, very soon, this will be the norm.

My children are wonderful people and I am going to miss them - terribly at times, I am sure.

It is time for them all to fly away.

Time for me to figure out mothering from afar.

And time for my husband and myself to savor each other’s company again.

I will miss them.